Clueless in the Pentagon
Tue Feb 20, 2007 at 06:05:18 PM PDT
Will the Military ever figure it out?
How is it, that the Greatest Military The World Has Ever Known, with the biggest defense budget, the most deadly weapons, the most highly advanced Army, the most technologically dazzling Aircraft and Air Force, the largest and most powerful Navy fleet, with at least 700 foreign bases around the world ... Just how is it that this military is losing? OK, the word "losing" may be too inflammatory for some; let’s just say "not winning". The One Remaining Superpower is "not winning" against a few small groups of rag-tag religious fanatics who have no Navy, no Air force and few technologically sophisticated weapons to speak of. Just what the hell is the Pentagon’s problem?
Having been in the military (army) for many years, I know how it generally thinks. Or rather, I know how it doesn’t think. What it doesn’t understand. Basic, simple things like – people don’t like it when you kill their relatives. They tend to get pissed off when you throw them down on the ground and step on their heads. They will remember how you treated them when you dragged them off to prison. Those bad first impressions will last a lifetime. They may even cause some people to seek revenge.
People like to have electricity – especially when it’s 100+ degrees outside. People in foreign countries don’t all speak English. Shouting LOUDER doesn’t make them understand you any better. They also need money to live and jobs. They need to be able to go to the store or to school without someone shooting at them. It’s basic human nature stuff that we all understand, but the leaders in the military do not. Not that I expect anyone in the Pentagon to ever read this, but I wanted to provide just a few clues to maybe help them figure it out:
Clue #1 – Now just imagine for a second, that you live in a poor country, with a despotic leader that you despise (this should not be difficult to imagine at the moment), and another more highly advanced, Superior Country has declared that it will free you from your horrible leader and bring you Freedom and Democracy. Sounds pretty good, no?
First they begin by bombing your cities (carefully trying to avoid those important buildings, like your Oil Ministry) with "Shock & Awe". It’s all very scary, hearing bombs raining down all around you. But they have promised that their bombs are "smart" and will hit only those buildings with "the enemy"; you know for a fact that you’re not "the enemy", so you cover your ears, and hold on to your children, and wait for it to be over. Your neighborhood manages to survive ok. However, you find out that your uncle’s house was bombed by mistake. Everyone in his family – is dead under the debris. And a friend’s 3-year-old child was taken to the hospital with shrapnel wounds. When the bombing is finally over, the Superior Country’s PR flacks announce that it all went brilliantly well, the objective was carried out with extreme precision, and except for a little "collateral damage" the mission was accomplished. Medals to all the pilots involved. Apologies to the "collateral damage". Your Freedom and Democracy have arrived. How do you feel?
Clue #2 – In the next week, the Superior Country rolls in an army of thousands of tanks and trucks and people who shout things at you in a foreign language you don’t understand. (Well, they are foreigners, after all). The electricity goes off. Looters and bandits break into a highly important historical museum and steal ancient artifacts worth millions. The Superior Country’s troops do nothing. In fact, they even set up a military base on an architectural site of one of your most ancient cities. Looters and bandits break into stores and shops and steal food and just about everything else they can find. The Superior Country’s troops do nothing. In fact, one of the Leaders of the Superior Country remarked that "Stuff happens" in regards to the looting. You only hope that you and your family have enough food to last until the Superior Country brings in promised supplies. Looters and bandits break into weapons and ammo storage areas and carry off thousands of tons of explosives and weapons. The Superior Country’s troops do nothing. You know that certain religious people in your country absolutely despise other certain religious people in your country, and you worry about potential violence with all that ammunition floating around. Oh well (you tell yourself), the Superior Country has the latest in advanced weaponry, and will know how to deal with a few bandits and looters. They will certainly provide safety and security once they get set up. It’s all in their Great Plan. And (after all) at least the Oil Ministry is safe, thank goodness.
Clue #3 – After 4 months of "fighting" with the remnants of your old despotic leader’s army, the Leader of the Superior Country arrives in one of those Superior dazzling fighter jets onto a Superior aircraft carrier with a "Mission Accomplished" sign and announces that "Major Combat Operations have Ended". Medals are awarded to all people involved. Several weeks later, after a few "incidents" the Superior Country’s Leader invites all comers to try to beat his Superior Troops by saying Bring ‘em On! You wonder if someone might eventually take him up on that.
Clue #4 - The Superior Country then begins their Plan To Provide Democracy and Freedom to your poor and battered country. They bring in The Expert. The first thing the Expert does is fire 500,000 government workers - mostly soldiers, but also doctors, nurses, teachers, publishers etc.. Then he opens up you country for business with outside corporations using a plan of unrestricted imports, and no tariffs or duties or taxes. McDonalds, Wal-Mart, Citicorps and Starbucks COME ON IN! The corporate tax rate has been lowered to only 15 percent, and now foreign companies can own 100 percent of Iraqi assets outside of the natural-resource sector. The Expert has even begun a Stock Market so you can open up a 401K. But there is still no electricity.
Clue #5 – The gas lines are extremely long because fuel is scarce. Actually, you probably don’t want to drive much anymore, because the Superior Country has set up checkpoints everywhere and you might get shot at and killed if you’re not careful. The Superior Country is even starting to shoot at its own allies. The Superior Country even has civilian contractors who are shooting at cars while they drive down the street. Your work is on the other side of town so you might have to quit your job – either that or take the bus. Only problem with that is you might get blown up. If you try to walk to work, you might get kidnapped and killed. You want to ask the Superior Country's troops for help, but they seem to all be fortressed in their 14 Enduring Bases or guarding their enormous new Embassy. Actually, you're not sure you want to get anywhere near the Superior Troops, because you've heard that some of them are assaulting and murdering your people, even raping and murdering young girls. The damn electricity is STILL out. Your wife can't go to the market without fear of being blown up. Your children can't go to school anymore for fear of being blown up. WHERE THE F$%CK IS THE FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY YOU WERE PROMISED???
There is no end to this nightmare in sight. You decide to do the only thing left, for the protection of your family, AND to get these Foreign bastards out of your country. It dawns on you, that all that sweet Superior Leader talk of Freedom and Democracy was nothing but lies. These bastards care nothing about your people. They are just setting up permanent bases so they can take your oil.....
So will the military ever figure it out? How many more BIllions and Billions of dollars will it take? How many more missiles, and destroyers and fighters and tanks? How many nukes? How many contractors? How much will it take to defeat "the enemy"?
(Just a little further addendum) - I found this excellent essay on American way of war by Fred Reed (former Army Times writer), just in case the Pentagon needs more inspiration....
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